CoNFuSeD

i really am.i dont know which i should choose because me myself do not know what i want.there are pros and cons to every single choices and i cant seem to know what is best for me.what should i do???i dont know

WHAT SHOULD I DO???

i really dont know.im falling deep into a hole.i cant seem to find a way out.i need help but i do not have anyone to turn too.it depressing.



p0 T_T

so depressed!!!

its been so so so long that i cant remember when was the last time i blog.maybe a whole semester which means around four months plus.hmmm.today was my last day of examination.i'm so depressed and i had no one to talk too.i wanted to cry but i cant seem to find the tears.

i did really badly for my paper today and yesterday and the day before and the day before.conclusion was that i did badly for my final examination.today paper hit me the worst.i do not know what i wrote at all in the paper.i dont know the calculation(calculation covers almost 80% of the paper).not even one.and to make matter worse,i felt that i almost got everything wrong after i look at my tutorial.and the theory i'm not sure whether what i wrote is what the lecturer want.i'm so stress up by thinking of it.i was suppose to be happy that i am free from all the tortures but i dont.i actually felt scare.fear of what awaiting me on THE DAY.i knew i cant do anything right now as what was over was over.you cant turn back the time.but still the fear within me is no jokes.

my sister told me 'you cant do anything anymore since it already pass'.i agreed but how can i get myself not to think of it???arghhh.i really want to scream out so loud to let everything go.arghhh.




p0:(

FAMILY!!!

everything seems good tonight.my cousin got married.its a happy day.when everything is over,relatives stayed around to take pictures and talk.its a happy memory.but all of a sudden mummy taught of grandma and started crying.both my uncle cried as well.i cried too because i just cant help it.i understand what mummy meant when she said how sorry is she towards grandma and uncles.me and jie jie cried the worst after mummy.we cant help but to cry along.i mean we know mummy regrets towards grandma because she thinks she is not a good daughter.but there is a reason to it.all i can hope is that grandma that is in heaven knows it.and today i know the true meaning of Family.

Family is a place you can rely on.
Family is the one that will be there for you no matter what.
Family is the one you can trust.
Family is a place of hope.
Family is the comfort zone.
Family is the one that will accept you for who you are.
Family is the one that will forgive you no matter what you do.
Family is the one that always love you.
Family is the strength.
Family is place you cannot find anywhere else.
Family is HOME.

i have learn today to love my family more as i know they will always be there for me no matter what decision i make and what i had done.no matter what i had did to them,they will always love and forgive me.i am thankful to my family even though i am very bad in expressing myself.i will be more tough for them and make my Family proud of me.


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thankful...

i went back to cyberjaya on 5june to unpack my stuffs at the new place and i went back to melaka on the same day as well.it was insane.yesss.agreed on that.a lot of people said that.i took 10am bus and guess who i saw at the melaka sentral.whee ling.i never thought i will see her there.we talk for awhile and exchange phone number.after i reach bukit jalil,i bought 8.30pm bus ticket back to melaka because i never thought i will unpack that fast.i finish around 4.30pm.so waste an hour in the room lazing around.then i took the 5.45pm u429.i reach bukit jalil around 7 something.i sit there reading magazine i bought till 8pm.then i go and find the bus.there is only one bus back to melaka and i just stand there and wait.it usually will let us into the bus around 8.15 but it didnt.i was so anxious.and i walk around again too see if i miss anything.and there is one uncle in the batu pahat bus asked me where am i heading.i said melaka and he said melaka bus is in platform 5.yeay i know it is in platform 5 but i just want to make sure.so i waited till 8.30pm.and the same uncle came to platform 5 to see why the bus driver havent let us in.he walk to the bus booth and in another few minutes the bus is open.i was like maybe the uncle complain.i went into the bus and the air con is not open.what the heck.i was sweating like crap.then the same uncle came up the bus and he realise the air con is not open.he switch it on.and he go to one seat to another to make sure the air con is functioning.there are few chinese including myself and he only ask me whether the air con function or not.i nodded smiling.i think maybe he saw me wandering around the bus earlier and he recognize me.i really think he is a very responsible worker.and is a kind one.so thats my one day trip back to cyber.


p0:)

reflection...

i did really badly this time for my exam.i pass everything but everything just went down.both my gpa and cgpa.its not that im greedy or what.i was really happy when i saw my results that i pass everything.im very happy.but it seriously went down a lot.im getting far away from my target.what should i do or what should i had done in the first place???i really need to reflect on what happen.i need to buck up.i have to be more tough with myself.no more fooling around.i still had 3 more semester to catch up.i hope i can manage to catch up and fulfill my uni goal.




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anniversary!!!!

its officially been a month since mummy got admitted into hospital.and almost a month since mummy got discharge.im so happy that mummy is active doing all chores that she always do.continue to nag on me.continue to scold my brothers.i rather she nags me than she laid on the bed.so im very very happy.im trying my best to accomplish all my promises even though i hardly do it.i promise i will eventually accomplish all the promises i ever had made.i promise.



p0:D